I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
