sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
