That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
