Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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