I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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