found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize