just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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