so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize