I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
