Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
