help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
