I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
