shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
