Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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