So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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