I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
