If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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