idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
