i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
