What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
ugly people sure do ruin things
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
