wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
