Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
