I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im calling her cock vulture from now on
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
being pregnant is like rehab
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
