Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
