Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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