Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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