i think i have herpe
just one?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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