I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
vagina is talking i cant
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
