i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
