Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
