Plan B is the new Plan A
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
