if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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