Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
