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Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
