Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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