if only i could text you this smell
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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