Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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