i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
