And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am one with the molecules
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
