It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just puked most of my soul out..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize