no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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