I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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