so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
