someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
