I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
