Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
