dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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