how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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