We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just pynch a tree in the face
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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