nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
