Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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