I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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