If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
