People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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