It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
