3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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